Last night at a local fund raiser, I found myself at ‘silent auction tables’ with three women discussing depression. “When you sit in front of a TV for five hours,” I overheard, “and don’t have anything to do, you are depressed. You are not needed, you have probably moved away from good friends, your kids and grand kids are grown, the pets are dead and you literally have no purpose left in your life.”
I stood fixed at attention. They were describing me, except for the TV. Five hours is too much even for me, yet I love a good Hallmark movie now and then.
Even though I no longer work, and rarely volunteer for anything, life does not disappoint. There’s my African Violet on the kitchen window sill for daily inspection, usually a Good Morning Hello when I fix that first cup of coffee. There are three other plants to water, plus the mum on the back deck, two on the front porch and my mother’s rose bush along the front walk. While I have the watering can out I fill up the flower pot with the fountain in it that my friend Gail sent for my birthday. I can’t forget the raspberries to pick, even in the Fall, and more green peppers in the garden hubby planted. And of course a daily email to friend, Gail. What would we do without our dearest friends, no matter where we live.
I count myself lucky to still have a hubby to share things with, but do have to feed him, and he does like a bit of daily attention. We even watch a few detective shows on TV in the early evenings or a PBS series of some sort, and definitely watch Seahawks, WSU & Gonzaga games, even way down here in GA. We still fly our Seahawks flag but a UGA GA bull dog does sit on the front porch.
What more purpose do I need? There’s laundry, housework, cooking, shopping – dull routines when we were crazy busy working with kids at home, but now a blessing. I still have work to do and time to do it whenever the spirit moves me. The cherry on top is weekly visits with daughter and family for hockey, soccer and tennis with our grandson, who occasionally spends nights with us. He’s the only one who will watch The Great British Baking Show with us, and sometimes we three play Cribbage & have ice cream. Grandson calls this our ‘Ice Cream Cribbage Club.’ A year ago he told me Georgia people don’t need to use manners. Wrong thing to say to this southern Grandma. We embarked on a manners lesson. Now he thanks me when I hand him a napkin. There’s my purpose right there. There and a whole lot more.
Maybe we all need to look at our lives with gratitude for what is left, rather than with tears in our eyes for what used to be. For me, what I have now is more than enough. I feel blessed that I finally realize it.